Thursday, August 16, 2012

Get Over It!

I turn on the tube and what do I see
A whole lotta people cryin' "Don't blame me"
They point their crooked little fingers at everybody else
Spend all their time feelin' sorry for themselves
Victim of this, victim of that
Your momma's too thin; your daddy's too fat
Get over it… (Glen Frey, Don Henley of the Eagles)

Maturity; what a concept!

Exactly what is this thing called maturity, that some seem to possess in great portions while others seem to have none? Is it a measure of experience or intelligence, age or knowledge or is it something difficult to define, such as “charisma.”

The dictionary is not a lot of help - it says maturity is: the state of being fully grown or developed.

Thanks for not too much. How does a person know that they are fully developed? Are all persons who have stopped growing, and therefore as fully developed as they’ll ever be, “mature?” I do not think so.

I do think I’ve come up with an answer to the question of “what is maturity?” however. It has nothing to do with age or interests or whether one enjoys the WWE or prefers Shakespeare. It has nothing to do with whether one is wealthy, independent or a leader. The answer became somewhat obvious to me when I was once asked how my parents affected me as a person. For better or worse, was I the person I have become because of my parents?

Obviously my parents did affect me is some way; what I have realized is that my behavior, particularly when I screw up, in no way can be blamed on my parents or anyone else. Even if my parents raised me improperly, I own my choices, now and in the future.

For many, it is easy to blame one’s parents or others for their behavior. Some are abused when young by a family member and grow up troubled. They may abuse drugs or alcohol or slip into self pity leading to depression.

Even as an adult, one could blame others for the loss of their job or other personal catastrophes and it would be absolutely fair to assess blame for those who have harmed you and to seek redress against them. Justice, keep in mind, is a virtue; revenge, however, is not.

But here is what one should not do – blame others for one’s own behavior. You may indeed have been harmed in the past but maturity is taking full responsibility for your behavior. Seek justice, seek redress, seek damages if morally and legally proper, but your behavior and actions must continue to be ethically proper.

Maturity is owning your behavior no matter what has happened to you – maturity is not making excuses.

As the Eagles so eloquently put it, “Get over it.”

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